I, Poonthanam Wilson Rahman Singh -PWRS (I rechristened my name to suit my multi-cultural knowledge
though it was a simple Poonthanam as named by my parents) am a very learned man. I have mastered in memorizing Ramayana, Maha Bharata, all the 900 slokas of
Bhagavat Gita, 1330 couplets of Thirukkural, all the Vedas, Bible, Quron,
Buddist aphorisms and other religious Principles.
I have acquired masterly skill in
performing various Yoga asanas,
Meditation and other self-disciplining exercises. Besides, I was academically well qualified with a Doctorate
Degree in Philosophy. Can I call myself a multi-faceted religious philosopher!!
But, age was
also catching up with me. I am no more
a youth as one can imagine, and I am reaching 70 years of age. With age, some gifts of the Almighty, such as diabetes, arthritis, Low Blood Pressure and
other associated illnesses are also given. I am an exception to that, probably due to my highly disciplined way of living. I don’t know if I
would catch some of these ailments over time that would move with me till the end of my journey. But, being
a knowledge acquired guy by my own efforts, I decided to live longer and longer
though I hear and see every now and then, friends and relatives are vanishing
from the earth. But, I longed to live
longer than any one in the world. The
oldest person ever whose age has been verified is the contested case of Jeanne
Calment (1875–1997) of France, who died at the purported age of 122
years, 164 days.[1] So,
I wanted to set a new Guinness World Record as the longest living person.
The thought of my being a knowledge acquired guy made me to
introspect. As acquired through my knowledge of excellence through various religious
literature, I found that the best way to acquire the desired goal is to perform
intense ‘Tapas’[2]
and invoke the blessings of the Almighty. According to various
anecdotal evidences from the scriptures, in the ancient times, people used to
go to the nearby forest for doing ‘Tapas’.
So, I also tried to look for a secluded place in the nearby areas for a forest
cover to provide me the rightful place for performing my ‘Tapas’. But, no forest cover was in sight in the nearby areas
though in a number of places, notice boards displaying ‘Under the Forest
Department’ were hung for the information of the public at large. I finally
gave up the idea of searching for a forest cover for performing my ‘Tapas’ in India.
I reorganised one the spacious rooms in our house by placing
a variety of species of plants and created the ambiance similar to being in a
forest. Watching the proceedings, my wife asked about the purpose of my going
with reorganising the room which virtually looked like a miniature version of a
forest.
I briefed her about my Mission of creating a World Guinness
Record for the longest living person. I tried to explain my life Mission
Statement; but, she laughed (not getting angry) at me and enquired as to the
purpose of my converting a biggest room in the house to give a look of a
forest. For a while, she could not comprehend my narration and ambition of
creating a World Record for the longest
living person. But, having lived with me all these 40 plus years of
togetherness, she knew I was a hard nut difficult to crack! So, she did not
dissuade me from doing something idiotic and wished me to complete my Mission
quickly.
I got a bit put off by her action of laughing at my
Missionary zeal with which I was proceeding to perform the ‘Tapas’ and apprised her that in India, it is almost impossible to
find a forest to my needed purpose for which I should go to only the ‘Amazon Forest’.
As usual, she overheard half of my conversation while
engaging herself in her kitchen work, smiled and said, “Why don’t you order it
from Amazon? Perhaps, they may supply a forest also as part of their business.”
I was bowled by her googly and smiled back (I cannot afford
to offend her lest my Mission will be short-circuited) and explained to her that
‘Amazon’ is an online marketing platform
and the ‘Amazon Forest’ is one of the largest forests in the South America.
I chose an appropriate day with all matching parameters such
as auspicious day, good timing (Muhurtham) etc. When I readied myself for commencing my
journey to the chosen spot, my respectful wife called me to enquire whether I
was going to commence my ‘Tapas’. I
stopped for a while as it was believed that it was not a good omen to ask a
person such a question before commencing any good work. I sat down and asked
for a cup of water to drink which I believed would ward off the evil omen that
might affect my Mission ‘Tapas’.
Wearing a loin cloth and very little food for consumption and
a Bisleri water bottle, I reached the appointed place in the room and commenced
my ‘Tapas’ invoking the God Brihaspati also known as Deva-guru (Guru of the gods).
Days rolled, weeks came and went, months appeared and
disappeared; but the God Brihaspati did not seem to show any concern for my
prayers. Suddenly, one fine day, the Lord Brihaspati appeared in front of me
and offered his blessings. He expressed his happiness over my perseverance and
offered me three ‘Boons’ (In most of the
literature, Gods offer only three boons!) subject to certain conditions.
I had sensed that God, if at all appears before us would
offer three boons, and so I have carefully noted them down in my Notes page of
my mobile. Quickly, I browsed the page and read out my demands:
Boon 1: “I should set
the Guinness World Record for the longest living person which at present is 123
years. So, I have to live for at least 124 years.”
Lord Brihaspati: “Subject to your accepting my conditions, it
is granted. Next.”
Boon 2: “I should have healthy life without any ailments.”
Lord Brihaspati: “Subject to your accepting my conditions, it
is granted. Next.”
Boon 3: “My wife should also be alive to serve me till the end
of my life.”
Lord Brihaspati: “Subject to your accepting my conditions, it
is granted. Now, listen to my
conditions.”
PWRS(myself):
“I have heard of Gods granting boons to those ‘Tapasvins’ and not putting any conditions. Any way, please
elaborate. I am prepared to abide by them.”
Lord
Brihaspati: “Before coming here, I called for your profile from Chitraguptan
and I was thoroughly impressed. We discussed your performing ‘Tapas’ in our quarterly meeting with
Gods of various religions, such as Vishnu, Siva, Jesus Christ, Prophet
Muhammmad et al. In this heavenly abode of all the Gods, there are millions of
those who share the space and not their knowledge. In a survey conducted by us,
we found that most of them did not have any knowledge about the ‘Ultimate
Truth’ but somehow managed to get entry here, which I need not like to
elaborate now (Lord Brihaspati was about to share experiences of businessmen,
politicians offering crores of rupees worth of gifts to the primary Lord of any
temple which they choose to visit to get their wishes fulfilled, but refrained
from sharing it leaving to the poor ‘I’ to guess and find myself such persons).
Other remaining inmates here, have half-baked knowledge of the complexities of
living in heaven. So, we want to restrict the entry to the ‘Heavenly Abode’ only to those who will be
worthy by our standards and pass our vigorous tests that will be conducted from
time to time (Something similar to what Mr Donald Trump, the President of USA
imposing conditions on sanctioning H1B Visas to foreigners to work in the US,
thus restricting their entry there).”
“So, we are
looking for a Trainers’ Trainer and we found your profile fitted very well and
so I have been assigned the task of appointing you as the Head of ‘Trainers’
Trainer’. Here is your Appointment
Letter signed by all the Gods in the Heavenly Abode.”
“Your task
will be to select among the millions in the Earth who have inclination to learn
and spread the message of Ultimate Truth and make them God-friendly, through the ‘Trainers’
Training Programme’. You know more about it than others as you are so learned and the chosen disciple by the Almighty. I will be
giving you, from time to time, the list
of those who would be trained by you as Trainers who in turn will spread the
message of Ultimate Truth and God-friendliness among the masses. Each training
programme will be for one week (of course, Sundays are excluded and you can
take rest at home) for a batch of 20 such lucky human beings, on completion of
their training, will become Trainers who will work under you. We will also give
you a manual containing day-to-day programme.”
He continued,
“Please remember that in case you fail
to conduct even one programme and discontinue it for one reason or the other, then
my boons will stand withdrawn.”
“The task is
purely voluntary and no renumeration will be paid by us. Every week we will give you the list of
persons to be trained as trainers, venue of the programme and other details. We
have developed an App by name ‘Oh-God’
and your mobile alone will be activated for the purpose. Once one set of
Trainers are trained, we will activate their mobiles too with the ‘Oh-God’ App for their exclusive use. We
will ensure you have enough space all the time in your mobile to receive
instructions from time to time.”
“The whole
exercise of conducting the ‘Trainers’ Training Programme’ will approximately
take about 60 years and your wish will also be fulfilled.”
“So, give
your confirmation of acceptance of our offer of Appointment and I will give my
consent for all the three boons sought for by you.”
PWRS(myself):
‘Oh, My God’…….My head started rolling and to perform such a humongous task
will be draining all my energy and resources (as it is voluntary). As in
William Shakespeare’s drama Hamlet ‘To be, or not to be: that is the question: Whether 'tis nobler in the
mind to suffer The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, Or to take arms
against a sea of troubles, And by opposing end them?’ I was also on the horns
of dilemma, ‘To take the offer the of Lord Brihaspati and serve for sixty more
years, or continue to lead the life as destined by the Lord at ‘pre-Tapas’
stage and forget ‘Post-Tapas’ offer of boons of extended life of living of
sixty more years.
I asked the Lord to grant me a few minutes to have
consultation with my better half to get back with my decision. Till then,
kindly stay put here itself.
The Lord smiled gently and waved his hands approving my
request of consultation.
I explained to my wife all in details, the conversation with the Lord and the
conditions put forth by Him for accepting my request of three boons including extended life span of
another sixty years.
She smiled but firmly ordered, “You have already spent months
and months of ‘Tapas’ and your employer
has been good enough to sanction you leave without pay. Already I am running
the household with my income from music tuition classes. If you accept the
offer of the Lord, your employer will kick you out of your job and we may have
nothing to lead a decent life. It is better to be contended with what is
destined for us than to ask for more. There is no such thing as a free lunch,
an aphorism says and you, as a very learned person, would know about it.
Decision is yours- To live in abject poverty for the sake of making some stupid
World Record, or to lead a normal contended life as hitherto.”
She moved away from the scene without showing any eagerness
to see the Lord who appeared in front of me.
I went back to the Lord Brihaspati and with folded hands
pleaded, “Lord, thanks for your offer. Much as I would have wished to accept
it, I am afraid that I may not be able to fulfil your conditions and be worthy
of your choice. So, leave me alone and allow me to lead my pre-destined life.”
The Lord Brihaspati, smiled and offered his blessings and
vanished from my sight.
In the Heaven
The Lord Brihaspati called for an urgent meeting of all the
Gods and apprised them of the proceedings He had with me. They all felt
relieved and appreciated the Lord Brihaspati in handling very deftly the tricky
issue of managing the demands of such a weird disciple of the Almighty, that is
me!
S Santhanam
Komacha
24 March 2019
[1]https://www.google.com/search?rlz=1C1NDCM_enIN749IN749&ei=TlGSXLetLcWNvQS0g5zABA&q=oldest+living+person&oq=oldest+&gs_l=psy-ab.1.0.0l10.537198.1413192..1419688...10.0..2.1090.6197.2j16j3j4j6-1j1......0....1..gws-wiz.....0..0i71j0i67i70i249j0i131j0i67j0i10.kmT03bu4WEA
