My little village, Annur was trying to wake up to the call of cuckoos and crows. The thick overcast sky of the western ghats at a distance with green belt from the top and the water stream running down the hill looked as though an emerald stone studded platinum ring was being presented by Shiva, the Lord of mountains.
For me, the day has already begun.
Thoughts of completing my seventieth year in a week criss-crossing my mind, I walked in to the hall and called, ‘Sevandhi, bring my kanji (rice gruel)? I will have to go to the coconut plantation quickly.’
Sevandhi was equally quick in her response and she brought a big bowl of kanji and kept it on a stool near my chair. ‘It has been drizzling slowly but steadily. So take your umbrella. Also remember to return for lunch, as you forget the house once you move to the coconut plantation.’
I could not but smile and I sipped my kanji looking at her through the corner of my eye. She looked tired but never showed it off when it came to attending to my needs. Praising her for being my lady, I picked up the umbrella to go to the coconut plantation.
Just then, there was someone from outside my house calling my name, ‘Malaisamy, rains are expected in a week. So watering is not needed for the plantation for one month.’
When we moved in to this small quiet village decades back, it was all a vast piece of land mostly barren with green patch of shallow stumps found here and there. There was no plan to do any specific form of agriculture, though we were keen that we should start with some agricultural activities to sustain our living. Perhaps, no one starts anything with a big vision. It is almost short and what strikes at the moment.
I claimed an elevated mount near my plantation and tried to survey the entire area. Most of the trees are well grown yielding nuts and fibres seasons after seasons. There are also laggard trees which either yield a few coconuts or none at all.
From there, I moved towards the coconut tree in the north-eastern corner of the longish plantation. The tree was all but dry from top to bottom. It was one of the first batches of trees planted almost three decades back on the day when our son Virtan was born. I just moved my hand over one side of the tree with all my warmth as though I caressed my son. Why did not Gods name coconut trees as temple trees? Like a banana plantation, every part of a coconut tree is productive and useful. I am a highly religious man and I asked Sevandhi if we can name this tree Virtan as this plantation was also a gift of God in our long journey of this life.
Initially, she was not keen to give her approval to it as she was overpowered by an intense sentiment of her son. But when I persisted, she just smiled and nodded her head in acceptance with a rider that I keep the name as Anvirtan to it.
‘Do you know the difference between these two names?’
‘No, but I do not want the exact name of our son to be given to the tree. That is all.’
*****
Just then, a farm worker came to the field and asked me to return home as I had an urgent phone call to attend.
Virtan had called me up. I looked for Sevandhi and proceeded towards her. ‘Sevandhi, Virtan has phoned up some time back. What could be the reason? Why has he phoned me all on a sudden?’
His mother is the link for all what he wants from us…no..no… from me.
‘Yes, I know he called you. I told him that you would call back once you returned home. Just speak to him,’ Sevandhi responded from the kitchen.
‘Hello, Appa here..….. you called, I suppose.’
‘Ya, how is Amma? I want to move ahead with my business. I need your help. Can you and Amma come over here and stay with us?’
‘I will have to ask Amma and then get back.’ Of course, Sevandhi was just standing nearby overhearing the conversation and giving silent prompts to me from time to time.
‘Why don’t you call Amma now and ask her consent? I can book your tickets.’ Virtan seemed to be impatient.
‘OK. Just wait, I will call Amma.’ I gave the mobile to her and asked her speak to Virtan.
‘Hey, Virta, how is Trilochana? … Appa says, you wanted to speak to me.’
‘Yes, Amma, I want you both to come and stay with us. I also need help from you and Appa for my business. Can I book your tickets by flight from Coimbatore to Mumbai for tomorrow?’
‘No ….no, don’t do that. We will certainly come. But I will ask Appa to speak to you in the evening about it.’ She ended the call and handed over the mobile to me.
I opened my thoughts to Sevandhi. ‘What does he want? We or our properties and money? We brought him up to be on his own. But every now and then he comes back with one request or the other for funds. It is unacceptable. We should not feed him for his foolhardy business ventures and get ourselves drowned in the quicksand and suffer.’
‘Let us go to Mumbai and listen to him. He is making his efforts to be on his own. If we cannot help our child, whom do you think will come forward and help him?’ Sevandhi was always supportive of him. After all, she is yet another mother blinded by the love for her child.
****
Trilochana called us to join the dinner served on the table. Virtan took his seat just opposite to me. I wanted to avoid seeing him directly.
‘Appa, I know that I have taken your help on a few occasions before. This time too, I need yours. About two crores of rupees are needed for my new venture. It has potential to grow and we can get our investment returned in about two to three years. But I need the amount immediately. Otherwise, a great opportunity will be lost and the investment already made dead.’
‘OK, what do you want me to do now? I can spare about ten to twenty lakhs. My suggestion is that you start with a small capital as I did with my coconut plantation. I just started with half an acre and that has grown to over ten acres now.’
‘I am asking for what you have saved for me; that too a part of it only.’
‘Saving to me is not what is left after expending the income. Saving to me is the expenditure foregone. That is the basic difference between your generation and my generation. Still, it has merits, Virtan. So start small which will be within our means and not beyond.’
‘You are attached to your money and property and love them more than your own son.’
It pinched me strongly. But I remained quiet as usual.
Sevandhi egged me, ‘It is for starting a business. And we are going to give our wealth to him anyway. Instead of giving after a few years when he may not need it, why don’t you give now itself and make him move on?’
Knowing my Virtan, who has squandered his resources every time given to him and returned only to ask for more, I do not want to repeat the mistake any more. I was cool but firm in my thoughts that I would not yield to his demands.
Quickly, I made a back of the envelope calculation and found that I have already given him about one crore and fifty lakh rupees. ‘OK, I will give fifty lakh and you manage the balance amount.’
‘Appa, you are talking like a pawn broker. You just keep your money with you.’ He became furious and stormed out of the dinner hall.
I was uneasy when Virtan went away with all anger writ on his face. There was no ill feeling for me. But I could not take it lightly. I just kept quiet for a while and moved out from there.
****
‘I want to speak to you for a moment,’ Trilochana signalled Virtan.
‘Did your father become angry with you, and say anything that was unkind? Your father will not help you and you will continue to beg him every now and then.’
‘Oh, dear, no. He is usually calm. I also know that he always gets on my nerves. Nothing is so irritating as calmness.’
‘Yes, it shows that he is not so sensitive as you are. It makes a great barrier between two of you.’
‘But how do you say all these about my father?’
‘No, I could listen to the conversation between you and your father.’
‘You must not believe everything that was said, you know, Trilo.’
‘Why should I not believe when both of you were in an animated discussion?’
‘I am afraid you think too strongly, Trilo. But there is a great deal of truth.’
‘Your father is old enough to do wrong to his own and only son. He does not believe in you as you have lost all he gifted to you for your earlier ventures. But you are now old enough to do right and so, he should help you when you need it most. Now, it is between you and your father.’
My thoughts quickly summarised my past. ‘I am a son of a farmer. My parents were in Annur village, once a large tract of parched dry land. They invested in me and gave me best of education. But I left them behind without interest in farming and moved out in search of my own life. Of course, there was no ill feeling for them- sheer my ignorance and mirage chasing.’
*****
I was awe struck. Now I have nothing more to offer than to feel ashamed of myself. With a lot of love and affection, we brought him up. He was a loving child too. Then when he grew, he started with great expectations from us though we were also willing to walk the talk to the extent possible. In a way, he started judging us from what we were giving him from time to time. Now I find him stung by the greed of making wealth from nowhere. Hardly, he would ever forgive us for our refusal to go with his demands.
I felt our purpose of visit here was already over. With thoughts of returning home, we retired to our bedroom. Early next day, I asked Sevandhi to pack our luggage so that we can leave the same day for the village.
****
Looking at my dusted name board ‘Malaisamy’ at the entrance of our home, Sevandhi stepped back awhile, ‘So much dust has gathered within a week since we left home.’
I just smiled, ‘Don’t worry Sevandhi, all can be cleaned up in a day.’
We returned home.
It had rained cats and dogs throughout the day and the previous night too. I was restless. I could not sleep with various thoughts crossing my mind like a flooded plain. Lying on the bed turning from one side to another, I was waiting for the dawn.
But the day did not start with the Sun rising in the east. Where has it gone and why has it hidden itself from the world? Perhaps, it does not want to witness the nature’s fury that has caused havoc in the farms and fields.
The alarm from the mobile started ringing indicating it is 6.00 in the morning. I got up and looked at Sevandhi who was still sleeping. Her face looked tired and worn down. I thought of waking her up to get my kanji ready, but decided to wait for a while.
It was getting late enough to be worried. I once again stepped into the balcony and looked down. Except for a drenched street dog that was lying down miserably near the gate, there was not a soul to be seen anywhere. Rain water had puddled under the lamp post. A breeze ruffled the mango tree in the courtyard and a few twigs fell down and broke. Thunder rumbled in the distance. Did I hear a soft knock at the door? I turned back....
I could see the servant standing at a distance.
‘Saab, with heavy wind blowing and rains lashing out, a number of coconut trees have fallen in our plantation.’
Without waiting for another moment, I rushed out towards the farm. Restlessness was writ on my face with sweat trickling down my cheeks and the spine. I could see scores of coconut trees that had fallen on the ground uprooted making deep trenches similar to moon’s craters. Some trees were broken from the middle and hanging loosely. Was it so devastating? Coconut trees are supposed to stay rooted strongly against heavy winds. But it looked as though the fury of rain god has descended with all its force in the areas where our farmland is located. Glancing from one side to another, I increased my pace of walking. With most of the trees uprooted and stumped, I could feel my heart sinking. Clutching the towel on my shoulders and closing my mouth with it, I moved swiftly inside my farm. Is it madness or the attachment to the coconut trees and the way they were nurtured all these years as part of my family that made me feel sick from inside? I moved my hand over a few of the trees like I used to caress my son, that have fallen flat one over the other. Such was my attachment, though I was vocal about the need for detachment in life.
I neared the Anvirtan tree and found it was still standing despite most of its roots plucked out violently by the heavy winds that were blowing throughout the previous day and night. While a number of strong and healthy trees have fallen down, this Anvirtan tree was still holding out but dangerously to its roots. It was windy and the remaining trees were oscillating wildly from one side to the other. I hear noises of some more trees falling on the ground from the nearby plantations.
I was taken aback and my body was trembling. I felt as though Virtan, my son, was in great distress. Should I have given the amount sought for by him? I should discuss with Sevandhi once back home and arrange to send him the amount quickly.
Wiping the tears that rolled down my eyes, I stopped on my tracks and gazed at the tree from a distance. Then, I started moving slowly towards it with all strange thoughts crowding my mind. I tried to look at it and felt as though it wanted to speak to me. I moved closer.
‘Appa, you refused to help me when I needed it most. Then why should there be a relationship between you and me?’ Words spoken a couple of days back by Virtan, my son, echoed now when I looked at Anvirtan, the tree.
‘I heard Sevandhi calling me from a distance to return home as it was very stormy outside. Holding an umbrella, she was trying to reach me.’
Suddenly lightning blinded my eyes and the thunder reverberated the sky and the Anvirtan tree snapped from above and the top portion of the trunk crashed the temple of my head and pinned me down to the ground. Then an eerie silence pervaded.
‘Choked at the throat, Sevandhi screamed, Virta…….’
Sevandhi, just slumped to the ground and cried loudly, ‘Oh! No… I did not want to name the tree and treat it as our son. Look what happened?’
*****
Trilochana looked grim. She held out the mobile phone to Virtan. ‘Your mother wants to speak to you.’
As Virtan picked the phone from her, he felt the coldness of her hands.
‘Hello, Amma’. He was also cold in his expressions as he was seething with anger against his parents.
‘Virta, Appa is no more. He was hit by our own Anvirtan coconut tree and got crushed under its heavy blow.’
‘When!?’
‘Just about an hour ago. Please come immediately.‘ Sevandhi was choking in her throat and the mobile phone trembling in her hand.
The line snapped from his hand too, ‘Oh, my God, Trilo, Appa is no more.’
‘Have I overplayed my issue with my father? He was rather killed in a freak accident. So how can I be responsible for his death?’ With confusion clouding his thoughts, he put his hands on her shoulders and looked speechless.
*****
Next week, the coconut plantation was sold and it fetched two crore and ten lakh of rupees, more than what Virtan wanted. Sevandhi moved to the photo of her husband kept near the puja room and took the bank demand draft from there, gave it to Virtan with her blessing and moved away.
I looked through my new look photo frame and I too blessed him.
