London Olympics  – Krishna Avatar resolves Indian pick of tennis players

(Shri Krishna, Former Union Minister of External Affairs of the Congress and the Honorary Lifetime President of the All India Tennis Association has shifted to the BJP. I penned the following piece on 27 July 2012 when two confusing events took place in which this great politician was closely associated. I chanced to stumble on this piece from my archives. I am happy to share it now as such samples of how our politicians entrenched in every aspects of life are providing us fodder for a hearty laugh. Now that he is a senior mentor in BJP,  he may be expected to play the role of a super  strategist in unsettling  the  Congress run Karnataka. Please read on.)

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This is a week of fiascos.

Earlier in the day (27 July 2012), Pakistan announced release of Sarabjit Singh who is languishing in Pakistan jail for decades.  But, later,  it turned out to be one Surjeet Singh whose name was cleared by the President of Pakistan and not Sarabjit Singh. This is one event.

For over a week, a battle was on with daggers drawn by all our  top Tennis players in  selection of teams for representing India in the London Olympics.   The selectors of  the All India Tennis Association (AITA) had very tough time in zipping the foul mouths of our Tennis players from airing in public their personal grievances.

Our Hon’ble Sri Krishna is the most envied man in India as he is heading  the External Affairs Ministry and also doubling up as the Honorary Lifetime President of the All India Tennis Association.  These two events took all his energy out and he was feeling tired and looking for some place to take a quick nap. Of course, for most of the politicians, the best place to take such a rest is to be in a meeting; but, Sri Krishna chose to have it in his home. Dreams started rolling out one after another. Here are two such dreams recalled.

Dream 1:  Confusion over Sarabjit or Surjeet  has gripped him strongly.  In the dream,  he finds that as usual, our great media people through their networks found out quickly (many a time, government will think of taking action on media reports; but it is another matter, they do not take any action at all even after all clinching evidences they have), that  it  was  a Computer Assistant (CA)  at the administrative level in Pakistan,  who does not know how to pronounce the name of Surjeet Singh in English made the mess.  He just heard the name as Sarabjit  as his friend was helping him in reading out to him the Order of  the President of Pakistan consenting the release of  Surjeet Singh from Pakistan jail while the CA continued keying in the words in the computer.  Now, India seizes  the opportunity and lodges its request for release of Sarabjit Singh also.  Hon’ble Union External Affairs Minister Sri Krishna imagines  that such an error at the Pakistan level has indeed come as a blessing in disguise as  India could now press for release of  two Indian prisoners out of the Pakistan Jail. He succeeds in getting the release of both Sarabjit and Surjeet.  As he was dreaming about it, a streak of smile crossed his face giving him a sense of  great achievement in his ministerial assignment.

Dream 2:  Soon after the dream about Sarabjit and Surjeet fiasco and his great diplomatic coup, the tennis debacle started unfolding in his next dream.  The real show of egos of Tennis players was haunting in his dream also.   Announcement  of AITA that not so pious ‘Paes’ and  not so saintly ‘Sania’  would play the Mixed Doubles for India and   Sania making her mind known soon after, indicating that she was not keen to pair with Paes have jolted him. It is another matter, if any of the teams finalized would even go beyond the first round in the Olympics.

His dream continued something like this.  He first summons  expert  mathematicians with specialization in probability theory  to give the selectors  a few  best  combinations that  they could consider.    Simultaneously, top astrologers were also consulted to give their expert combinations.  The AITA selectors placed before him the file indicating various combinations and  requested him to give his written order in selecting two Tennis teams, one for  Men’s Doubles and another for Mixed Doubles games in the London Olympics.   He felt that there was no problem with Mahesh Bhupathi and Rohan Bopanna teaming up for Men’s Doubles.  So, he mentioned  in the file  - ‘Men’s Doubles – Mahesh Bhupathi and Rohan Bopanna - Selected’. When it came to Mixed Doubles, he mentioned, ‘Mixed Doubles – Paes and Saina – Selected’. He returned the file to the selectors and left the meeting, thoroughly satisfied.  The waiting media persons outside the venue of the meeting engulfed him  asking for the final decision of AITA. He announced that Paes and Saina will play the Mixed Doubles for India in the London Olympics.  The media was perplexed whether it was a slip from Sri Krishna in announcing the name – instead of Sania whether he slipped and mentioned Saina.  The selectors as usual have not seen the written Order but realized their mistake when he announced the name of Saina pairing with Paes.  So, they too rushed to him telling that he has made a spelling mistake in his Order- instead of Sania, he has wrong spelled it as Saina. But, the Minister stood his ground and said,  ‘Both women use racquets for playing their games and so it does not matter whether it is Saina or Sania.  At least, it will bring some sanity to the game of Indian Tennis  and would ensure my  longevity as I am the Honorary Lifetime President of AITA’.

His Personal Assistant comes in  and wakes him up ending his wonderful time of day dreaming for the benefit of our great country.